Power is in the Question

Good questions start our brains and conversations processing. The brain naturally will try to find answer to a question if asked.

If I ask you a question an immediate answer will pop in your brain. It might only be, "I don't know" or "I don't understand" but it will provide the best answer it has to the question.

The second step in LifeWalking is to Process Life together. Good questions are a great way to start finding Move Forward solutions.

When needing an answer or information about a life puzzle, try thinking of good questions rather than statements first.
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Move Forward Solution

A move forward solution is one that is aligned with your head, heart, and stomach.

The move forward solution can be the answer to any type of problem or big question. The most important thing is that after processing a solution to an issue it sits right with you and is something that you can put your signature on.

The solution will be intellectually honest. It will fit with your beliefs. It will set right in your stomach.

It is my experience that these types of solutions are arrived at best when in an intentional relationship, with the specific purpose of processing an answer, to something on your head, heart, or stomach. LifeWalking.

A good solution might give you the correct information for your head. A good solution might solve an emotional issue. A good solution might provide a paradigm shift. A move forward solution will align all three and will be something that you can put your signature on.

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Knowledge is Not Fruit-Bearing

A friend of mine was trying to find out what his Christian life message was. Sounds pretty imposing. Maybe he was asking what God's will for his life was. It was similar to Paul's cry in Philippians 3 when he said he wanted to apprehend that for which he was apprehended. Said another way, God why did you pick me to be a Christian?

He had recently gone on a weekend retreat where the topic had been sharing your faith. He reported to me that this was what he needed to do. In fact he was planning to get some additional books on evangelism and "learn how to share his faith." I asked him if he had ever led anyone to Christ before. He answered that he had not. In fact it was not normal for him to share his faith on a regular basis. I asked him where he felt blessed and used by God if it wasn't evangelism. An impassioned answer was given when he started talking about being on missions trips. I suggested that he should explore this area where he felt blessed and used of God.

My experience is that many times we will seek knowledge on a topic rather than doing the activity that has brought blessing to other people when God worked through us. The Bible says we will be known by our fruit not our knowledge, even though knowledge and correct thinking is very important. Just a thought, maybe we should examine where God has worked through us to bless others rather than just adding more knowledge. In my experience exploring where God has used me has been easier to process while LifeWalking the problem with someone else.

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The Game of 3 Questions

I was speaking at a conference about communicating with people that are not of your generation. The group I was speaking to were all baby boomers. We were talking about communicating with young adults. One of the gentlemen suggested that he might have to turn his ball cap to the side and bounce his head while he was speaking.

I assured him that he wouldn't have to do that and that he would be surprised at the number of topics that would have a common interest. He might not be able to talk about the latest computer-related lingo or talk about the music he listens to but I assured him that the topics of living and understanding people were the same and that they would be interested. I also suggested that he probably needed to be the one to get the conversation going.

Later I pondered if I could have given him a more helpful answer. I wanted to give him some tools to communicate with this other generation. I thought about how I had communicated with college students or high school students. It seemed to just be a game of 20 questions. I'd ask something, they would give a one-word answer with no real communication. We would both tire of the game of 20 questions and quit "communicating." I hoped that next time we met we could get a better conversation going and at least I had "broken the ice."

This not being a satisfactory answer I thought about some of the training I have had on communication and unlocking the real issues that people have. This involved finding some topic that had meaning for the person using 20 questions to find an area of interest. Something like this - rather than just saying what's your major and getting their answer, may be business, the 3 Questions technique would follow up with a open-ended question of what's one of the things that made you choose business? If I practiced being an active listener I could follow that with what would learning that information mean to you? When you take the opportunity to change 20 questions into what I call 3 Questions you find that people have things that they like to talk about and care about rather than just giving information and one word answers.

The reason I call this 3 Questions is when people are first asked an open-ended, somewhat probing, question they will give you a throwaway type answer to see if you are really listening. If you are listening you will be able to mirror the answer back with another open-ended question and probe further. Usually by the third, fourth or sometimes the fifth question you'll see them relax and start to give you the real answer. You have just started to communicate. If you don't continue to actively listen and ask the second, third, and maybe fourth question, you won't get a conversation going at a level where the person is actually communicating their true feelings.

Zig Zigler said that if you look at the red letters in your Bible you will see that Jesus asked a lot of questions to help people find answers.

Try 3 Questions intentionally and get back to me.

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Knowledge is Free

Hershey brought chocolate to the masses and made a fortune. Ford brought transportation to the masses and did the same. Microsoft and Apple brought computing, and Google gave knowledge and information to everyone; anytime, anyplace, in the world.

I have been asking what this means. The question; "What does it mean for everyone to have access to all the existing knowledge anytime, anyplace, with a few clicks?"

One of the answers is that people will no longer pay much for any of these things that have become commodities. If knowledge now fits into that category people will no longer highly value it. Supply and demand. If you are just selling knowledge you maybe should rethink your business plan.

One of the things it does mean is that the application of knowledge is now the new frontier. I can access all this knowledge but if I can't apply it; it has little value. People are looking for the application of knowledge. "There's an app for that."

From my perspective LifeWalking defines the relationship to process information and apply it. LifeWalking is "an app" for that.

More later.

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Moving Forward

I was listening to the radio yesterday and the host was interviewing a guest about New Year's resolutions. The guest agreed with most of us that we do not keep New Year's resolutions. The typical response is why make them, you just break them. The guest suggested that to change you should make a large quantity of resolutions, you will keep some of them and be successful at some of them. My hope is that you are moving forward in your life and the calendar will not be the motivation for change and making of resolutions. Topic for another blog. Suffice it to say I do think about moving forward at the change of the year and like a business setting goals for a new fiscal year I make personal goals (not resolutions) for myself.

I need to quit rambling and get to the point.

My observation is we need others to help us move forward on things we desire to show up in our lives, especially things that really matter. Let's face it. Real change does not show up very often especially for an extended period of time. The best bet is that 2010 is a repeat performance of 2009. I further have watched people complain about "oh, I am so-o-o out of shape" to acquaintances. They further report about the plans they have to work out, the club they will join and the book they are reading to people that they fellowship or "share prayer requests" with. What I don't see very often is the next step in a relationship where you both work together and process a solution together, to solve the problem and actually show up at the club long enough to see a change in your life.

My take is that this is where LifeWalking starts. When you move forward and progress toward a solution is when the relationship moves to the next level. You quit complaining and whining about something and start moving forward and process a solution together. LifeWalking starts when a solution begins. When you both go to the club together or at least report the progress of the plan to your confidant.

I use the illustration of working out to make the point. The real fun starts when you process things that are very important to you such as the relationship with your family or your walk with God; Or questions like, "Should I change careers," have I been let go and need someone to process this with me till a solution is found. This is "where the action" is.

This is not a challenge to try harder and work harder. It is not a challenge to read more books and go to a seminar. The "dare" if you will is to think about processing moving forward with someone else rather than just self-help which is many times no help. We need each other. We are called to both Love God and Serve Others. The "dare" is next time you need a solution you may need to LifeWalk with someone for a season to find real moving forward solutions.

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